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Too Late

I talked to him everyday for hours and Yaseen loved showing him the new creations he’s just bought from school. Even though we were so far away but he expanded his warmness and care towards us. I was one of the luckiest girls in the world to be able to be guided and inspired by the man whose life was so full and adventurous. Every step of the way was showered with petals of love.

As soon as we heard that my father was hospitalized we rushed to Thailand. We got on the earliest flight available but when we reached Bangkok, my sister informed me that he was gone. I heard the universes collided and my heart was broken into pieces. I felt like I was melting away and everything around me turned dull and dark. Pictures of him and memories we shared flashed before my eyes. My head turned blank with pain, and it was the lost I couldn’t bare. I could never see the world the same way. It becomes so bitter and hard to believe.

The first thing came to my mind when I regained my conscious was how cruel it was to lose him so suddenly, and his last wish to be with Yaseen again couldn’t be fulfilled. Looking at Yaseen made it even harder not to blame myself for not being there at his last moment. I knew things would never be the same again.

My mother was so brave and strong going through the funeral. It was so unexpected that it seemed undone and unreal. She got on her feet and did her best, but the sadness in her eyes was so overwhelmed and it was pouring out like invisible tear. My sister and brother decided to stay at home and help her through this deplorable process. I wished I could be there, It felt so bad and selfish that I had to be back to India.

I couldn’t talk about this any further while I am in so much grieve and guilt. I hope one day I will be able to cope with everything. I regret that my kid wouldn’t be able to have such an extraordinary grandfather who would teach him how to live a cherished life. And my deepest sorrow was not being to take care of him when he needed me the most.

All I can do now is taking care of my family and honor his legacies….to believe in myself and do the best in life, to live a full life and go extra miles, to love the most love I could love to my family.

Take care,

19 comments to Too Late

  • I feel for you very much, Tes. May you have strength and courage in this time of great sadness and loss.

  • Tes, I’m so sorry for your loss, especially when it was so sudden, it’s terrible.

  • Oh Tes , I am so sorry to hear about your father , I can really relate to it , My dad passed away just recently and that too it was very sudden , I have no words to say anything other than hang in there and all my prayers are with you . Take care and again please accept my condolences .

  • Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un.

    I’m so sorry for your loss. May the Almighty give you the strength to face this difficult time. My prayers are with you and your family.

  • Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayihi roji’un
    I’m so sorry to heared about your father,I know how you feel,I loss my father three years ago,,it was very sudden too,My prayers are with you and your family,stay strong !!

  • My deepest condolences on the loss of your father Tes. Wishing you strength to sustain you during this difficult time and healing that soothes both mind and spirit.
    May the sunshine of comfort dispel the clouds of despair and may the memories you have, keep your soul full and the love that surrounds you help your hearts heal.
    Mandy xo

  • I’m so sorry, Tes! I feel terrible for you. It’s so hard to lose someone you love. But just remember that your father will live on through you and all the love you show your son and the rest of the world every day.

  • Oh, Tes, sending you as much love as possible across the miles. Thank you for sharing such loving words about your father. May your memories and the love of your family comfort you at this time. I know it’s hard, take it one day at a time. Be kind to yourself.

  • Tes, losing a loved one, especially a parent, is very tough to go through and indescribable. I lost my dad 8 years ago and he never lived to see any of his grandchildren. Be happy your father got to spend time with your son… It is not for how long they have known each other, but for the memories they have shared together. My deepest condolences go to you and your family.

  • Patty

    Oh Tess, I am so sorry…my dad died without me there, too…and it is very hard to deal with…

    I ache for you…

    The photo of him is beautiful…

    He must have been a wonderful man…

  • So sorry to hear about your Dad, Tess. I know that it is a very difficult time for you. I lost my Dad many years ago. I still think of him all the time and have wonderful fond memories to carry with me daily. He will always be there with you.

  • I’m so sorry, Tes. Our very deepest condolences to you and your family.. xxx

  • Hi Tes,

    I am so sorry for your loss. Please don’t be so hard on yourself as I am sure that he doesn’t blame you! My thoughts are with you and your family. I can only imagine how tough this is for you. All the best,

  • Tes-

    Terrible news, our thoughts are with you and your family. Things get better.


  • I am so sorry for your loss!! You shouldn’t punish yourself for things you wished you had done differently, try your best to focus on the good times you had. I’m sure he knew how much you loved him!

  • Tes, I’m so sorry to hear about your father. From everything you say, it is obvious that you had a deep love for him which is something that could not be missed by your father. He sounds like a wonderful man, who raise a thoughtful and loving daughter.

  • Dear Tes, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  • I am so sorry Tes. I can feel the love in your post and know that he is blessed in another world.

  • […] I’m so sorry for your loss, Tes. My heart goes out to you. May you get strength and courage to face this terrible loss. Like […]

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