I am still not used to with losing and being sad all the time. It is still pain and every moment is a struggle. I spend 2 weeks sinking in the couch crying or otherwise feeling my heart so aching that my whole body is trembling. I don’t know when it’s going to heal.
I want to get back on blogging or writing the stories I love, but I kept staring at the blank page of my computer screen. It was never be this hard to think and telling some words. I wish it heal soon because I feel like I’m losing myself to the sadness every single day.
Obviously, I don’t want to forget, but I want to be able to look at the world differently. I want to be positive and happy. I want to think of my father and not being sad. I wish I could see the world the way he taught me, but now everything seems so sad and still.
My husband and son are what I leaned on now. They make the days seem more bearable and livable. Yaseen brings laugher and joy, showing me every minute is the new beginning and I can make it better. I am lucky to have such a comforting and understanding man by my side. I have never felt more protected and secure as I am now with him doing everything to make me feel better.
I know I can’t be sleeping on the couch whole day anymore. It’s time to start moving on, getting up, going to the park, cooking, baking, doing laundry, blogging and writing more stories, being there for my family, etc.
Thanks all my friends for being so supportive with your comments and emails. Every single word was so touching and helping me through this hardest time. I am so sorry if I wasn’t able to get back to your responses. I will try to catch up with everyone later, soon.