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A Friend of an Introvert

When I was in school, my sister mocked me that I didn’t have any friend. I grew up weird. Well, I was a tomboy who went to the woods after school and played a lone ranger by myself. I didn’t like to be around people, and I was a square peg. I spent most of my time sketching and writing stories in my room. My sister, on the other hand, was popular, and she had a lot of friends. I remember feeling a little jealous sometimes because being in a big squad showed that you’re interesting and cool. Who wouldn’t want to be special, right? But the problem was I was never really comfortable around people. I always kept it to myself, and I didn’t really share my stories with anyone. Well, it’s not like I was a complete outcast. I had good relationship with my classmates, and I did have friends. However, those friendships weren’t like the tight bounds that my sister had with her friends.


After I got married, my sister came to stay with us for 2 years. One day she said “Well, it’s kind of great that you finally have a friend.” It seemed like a tease when she added “And you guys only hang out with each other.” Now, that’s really salty! But believe it or not, despite her sarcasm and the irony, my sister made me realize that my husband is my best friend.


Often, I am assumed to be snobbish and unfriendly because of how shy I am. I’m very quiet, and I will be a person standing alone in a dull corner of a party. If you meet me for the first time, you will probably think that I am boring or that I cannot speak. It’s very difficult for me to make friends because of how unapproachable I am. The fact though, I love having friends, but it’s difficult for me to make one. Once we get to know each other, I may become a little more interesting, and I can talk a lot. However, most people give up trying to be friends with me because of how monotonous I am.


People often asked me how Sadik and I met. And the story has always been pretty short and bland because it was a love at first sight. Actually, more colorful stories are about how we developed friendship, how we hybridized our beliefs, and how our loves made us best friends. The appreciation of nature, simplicity, kindness and a dream towards a humble life strengthened our relationship. After years of living together, we began to realize how similar we were on the insides, and this revelation was the foundation of our friendship. Our journeys through good times, bad times, fights, laughter and every moment together define what it’s like to have someone, to be significant to another human being, and to have a friend.


I will always be that quiet person who lives in my head. I write all day long, and I live in the stories I’ve created. Sadik always gives me space, and he inevitably supports my journey. Although he didn’t understand the horror novels I typed, he found me an editor. And while he didn’t even look at the songs I wrote, he bought me a guitar. I know it’s difficult to be friend with an introvert because I’m not the most entertaining person in the world. But I’m glad that he sticks around so I can count on him every day.


Have you ever watched one of those shows about celebrity friendships like Yaaron Ki Baraat on Zee TV? It makes you value the level of your relationships. It’s strange that I’ve found his best quality to be his flaw, and his adorable side to be annoying at the same time. For example, Sadik is a crucially straightforward person, and a lot of times, I find that to be a little unpleasant.


“Do you like my new hair color?”

“No,” he replied and punched further with “It doesn’t look good at all.”

One thing I can rely on him is he will always tell the truth even if it means I’m going to feel horrible and miserable afterwards.


I think it’s cute that he doesn’t like sausages because of their cylindrical length of oddity. Yes, he finds them creepy while the rest of us think they’re delicious. It’s annoying sometimes when he can’t just get over it. On one occasion, he even explained to a waiter that he’s not a fan of sausages because how gross they looked. Can you imagine? That was kind of embarrassed. Well, we always disagree on a lot of things, but I like that he challenges me intellectually and opens my mind to new concepts and ideas.

tes-and-sadik-3(We do ugly so well.)

I’m not a popular person, and I don’t have a lot of friends. I’m still quiet and shy, but I do have a wonderful relationship with someone who understands me. I am absolutely sure that the song God Gave Me You by Blake Shelton was written for us. Sadik knows that when I’m not speaking, I’m living in my work. He gives me space when I’m uncomfortable. He gives me time to learn new things, and he is patient with me when I’m slow and flat. I appreciate his sincerity and weirdness. He stands by me when I’m right and fight me when I’m wrong. And I’m grateful every single day to have this guy in my squad.



10 comments to A Friend of an Introvert

  • Karma

    Wow! It’s so sweet that you both have a relationship so loving and understanding ?

  • Vaishali

    Very beautiful article loved it, keep it up your write up always fascinate me ?

  • ChannonD

    This is my favorite of all your posts I’ve read. You may be shy in person, but you are very brave and open in print. Most of the blogs I’ve read never get real. They never show the author’s true self. Especially not on food/travel blogs.
    You are perfect just the way you are. You are not boring. nor are you flat. You just have a “thicker shell” than most. I am also that way. I often say that my closest friends and family will tell you “She’s really nice once you get know her,” because for most people, I hold back until I feel safe. And then I will talk your ear off. I too live in my mind, which is always pondering the world, currents and past events and possible futures. Most people wish to talk on more benign subjects such as weather, sports, tv, movies, food, etc…. We call it “small talk” in the USA and it is not in my nature, unless the subject is food. But most Americans think I eat weird, so that doesn’t help me feel safe. (your husband isn’t alone in his feelings about sausage 😉 Plus I only eat very lean meat, and mostly foods from other countries, esp India, Japan, Vietnam, Thailand, the Mediterranean, Brazilian, Cuban, and some African foods. I don’t care much for American foods expect on occasion…so it sets me apart from most people)
    Anyway, you’re not alone in your shyness. And there is nothing wrong with being shy. The worlds needs all kinds of people to balance one another’s strengths & weaknesses, our gifts and deficits.

    • Tes

      Thank you, Channon. It feels so happy to hear that. I often wish I could be more confident in person as well. Although I’m pretty comfortable about being quiet and living in my old world, I don’t like to feel awkward when I’m surrounded by a lot of people. So I try to improve myself sometimes…to be more approachable, but I know there is nothing wrong with being shy. I’m happy that I have a place to write to share my thoughts and share my stories now 🙂 Oh yes, I eat weird, too, so it doesn’t work on my side on my best subject 😛

  • kt

    Thanks so much for this post, it’s beautiful. I struggle with the same issues, and because of my job I’m put in a many situations where I am expected to be much more outgoing than I feel, and I’ve been feeling particularly down about it lately. It’s so nice to read about others in the same boat!

    • Tes

      Thank you. It’s good to know other people’s experiences because being introverts are not the most comfortable thing. Many times I find myself really awkward at parties or in public in general but I’m trying my best to fit in somehow.

  • Ping

    What a great relationship you guys got going. And imarriages should be like. It’s true of what they say, opposites do attract. My husband is the introvert. I used to feel so tired around introverts until I’ve married one myself. I understand them more. Not all should be extroverts! I guess the important thing is allowing ourselves to be who we are. But the best thing for an extrovert me is I’m more comfortable of not having to be friends with everybody. That used to bother me. But I’m old now, haha.
    Keep up the good writing!

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